Letters to God

Dear God,

Thank you for keeping my children and I safe during our long road trip yesterday. Thank you for sending my best friends down here and keeping them safe. Please allows us to have a wonderful holiday weekend and keep us all safe on road trips on Monday.

Thank you, I love you,

RLB

Dear God,

Thank you for the gift of today. Please watch over my children and keep them safe. I hope the talk they had today was beneficial to them and me. I just want them to have the world and which ever parent can provide the best for them to have that. I just don’t think the world they are living in right now is what is best. I certainly hope you see that, if I am wrong I am sorry.

Please be with my besties tomorrow as they find out the sex of their baby, they would really like to know, if you can help with that I would appreciate it. And please watch over all the people who could be affected by Hurricane Earl tonight or in upcoming days. Especially my friends who live in NC. My besties is supposed to come down this weekend to visit if the storm isn’t to bad…I would really like to happen.

As I make another long trip tomorrow please watch over my children and I and get us to and from our destination safely.

Thank you, I love you.

RLB

Dear God,

Please watch over my friend Amelia today…please allow the tests to come back negative and her baby to be ok and healthy.

Thank you,

RLB

Dear God,

Please continue to watch over my children. Thank you each and everyday for them and for another day of life you gift me with. Please relieve some of my stress – I need some direction on what to do next. Please guide me in the right direction to do the right thing always. Please look over my friends who live in the areas that Hurricane Earl is headed to. Please keep them all safe. Please keep my children and I safe on this upcoming road trip.

Thank you, I love you

RLB

hello this is the frist time in a looooong time i have done something like this ..so here it goes i just lost my mom she was 104 and she never thought about herself always was thinkin bout how she could pay it forward and she never gave up on her kids grandkids andgreat grandkidds ect. we (meaning my husband and i) flew out to la for a week to go to her furneal and it was sooo hard cause i saw my baby brother who has been fighting breast cancer for three and a half years now and he looked so bad i guess i just need a little help coping and some prayers sent my way thanks for listening ROSE

Dear God,

Thank you for hopefully answering my prayers about my truck. I will find out today if this very inexpensive fix has actually fixed it. Please continue to look over my children. Thank you for gift of life each and everyday. Thank you for my children. Please help me find a good job – something to help release some of this stress in my life. We aren’t expecting a financial hardship but we don’t have the anything left over to save and there always seems to be something.

Thank you, I love you,

RLB

Dear God,

I experienced a new challenge today. Please allow this cost to be minimal and to be a relatively easy fix. Please continue to look over my children, please protect them and keep them safe. Please bring me peace in my life – with my children. Please help me find direction in my life.

Thank you. I love you.

RLB

Dear God,

Please continue to look over my children. Thank you for everyday of life you give me, and everyday I get to spend with my children. Please continue to give me strength to continue to fight this battle. Please give my children strength and know that I am here wanting them back in my life fulltime. I am sorry for my sins. I want you in my heart completely. My door is opened to you.

I love you,
RLB

Dear God,

Hi.  It’s been awhile.  Lately I have been feeling desperately lonely.  I’m a busy person, but busy-ness isn’t everything.  Sometimes I feel like I’m busy doing nothing that is of real consequence.  And sometimes I think…scratch that, I know that I keep myself busy so I don’t have to deal with things.  Things like this loneliness that can be overwhelming at times.  Part of me wishes that I was not single, but was married, as if that would answer the problem completely.  Sadly, though, I know it won’t, because I know several married people who are lonelier than ever in their relationships with their spouses.

Lord, there are times when I thiknk that something must be wrong with me.  I have all kinds of people that I know, but it’s really only on a surface-level.  And I long to know others and be known by others in a more intimate fashion, but I don’t know how to go about doing that.  I suppose it starts with being willing to listen to others, to let them talk about their lives and experiences.  It was wonderful to me last weekend when, for the first time in awhile, I felt as though I actually belonged with the monthly movie crew.  And it has been great to spend time with friends from high school, getting back on somewhat familiar ground.  But, there are times like last night…and again tonight where I feel at such a loss, wanting someone to call up and say “Hey, let’s hang out”, but not knowing who to contact.  My more dependable person has been taken due to her family commitments–and that’s good, that’s where she needs to be.  But with that transition, I feel a bit left behind and out of the loop.

Sometimes I feel like things like wanting to get married and wanting to have children of my own are just a by-product of watching so many of my friends embark on those journeys.  And they’re wonderful journeys, to be sure.  But are they for me?

I can’t say that I ever have felt as though they were really journeys that I was supposed to take myself.  I’ve always felt a bit like a loner, as though I would be satisfied with going through life without a partner standing by my side.  But if I’m honest with myself, I have come to realize that perhaps I do desire those things, more than I cared to admit.  For admitting that those were desires of my heart could mean potentially setting myself up for heartache, should those things not be in Your design for my life.

Oh God, please let them be in Your design for my life.

However, I know that if You desire for me to walk through a life of singleness, it is something that You have and will gift me to do.  You do not ask anything of me that You have not done Yourself.  Nor do You ask anything of me that You will not provide me the strength, courage and endurance to go through.  Help me to be reminded of that in times like these, my lonely times.

And Lord, help me to clearly see Your road signs with regards to my church home.  I am so torn right now.  There are times when my current place and role seems so right.  But there are also times when they seem…well, off, if not occasionally wrong.  And there are times when the other church I have been sort of involved with seems right, but there are other times where it seems off and/or wrong.  I don’t know what I expect, except maybe a beam of light and a choir of angels singing “Ahhhhhh”, as well as a sense of comfort, peace and of having arrived home.

I do know one thing.  If I switch to this other place, I do want to know that it’s not because of a particular guy.  And perhaps that’s what is holding me back–me wanting my motives to be completely pure before proceeding.  I have faith that even if my motives aren’t completely pure, that You will still use those choices and that situation to Your glory.  I know, because You have done it before.  I know because I have been down a similar path before and the heartache and shame that came along with that are not things that I ever want to experience again.  I feel like, at times, I lost so much during that time period.  And on nights like tonight, I wonder if perhaps there was anything gained out of that situation.  I am afraid of trusting a guy again–of being open like that again.  It hurt too much to be rejected, but my understanding is that, sometimes, it’s a risk you’ve got to take in order to find someone who can be trusted with that kind of vulnerability.

Not that they will always be good stewards of that gift…we’re human, it happens.

Thank You for letting me pour out my thoughts and my heart to You.  Thank You for how therapeutic this can be.  Help me to remember that You are here.  That You do care and wish to listen.  And that it doesn’t matter what condition I am in, You accept and love me as I am.  And that in Your keeping is the best place to put my heart.

DEAR GOD,
PLEASE FORGIVE ME. HELP ME DRAW CLOSER TO YOU, AND HELP ME TO BE ABLE TO HEAR YOUR VOICE. I WANT TO BE YOUR WARRIOR, I WANT YOU TO COME INTO MY HEART TRULY, AND JUST FORGIVE ME FOR ALL MY SINS. LORD I LOVE YOU.

LOVE. JANICE

P.S. WHY DO FEEL SO WORKED UP AND LONELY WHEN I KNOW YOUR THHERE?